Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
