I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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