Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
