There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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