I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
