If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just blew my weed a kiss
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
