You made me cry and you don't even care
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
