Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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