Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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