her vagine was all disorganized.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
