I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
