My hand turned me down
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
