The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
