He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
