i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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