Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
