chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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