Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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