Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
