u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
