and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
