kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
