You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
