Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
