the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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