I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
And then my night got REAL pukey
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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