nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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