Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
