we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
