maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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