Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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