so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
