I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
