If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
