If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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