Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
