Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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