haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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