Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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