Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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