I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
