This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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