saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
