Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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