What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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