I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
