is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
