oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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