A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
