He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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