I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
